


A Damn Fine Dinner

by RedLetterMistress



Category: Jay Bauman - Fandom, Red Letter Media, RedLetterMedia RPF
Genre: Cooking, Cunnilingus, Date Night, Established Relationship, F/M, NSFW, Romance, Vaginal Fingering, cuteness, handjo, jay bauman - Freeform, reader - Freeform, red letter media - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-23 17:40:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21085259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedLetterMistress/pseuds/RedLetterMistress
Summary: This work is based off of a reader request. Jay's POV. Sweetness. Romantic feels. Date night dinner.





	1. A Man in the Kitchen

Jay Bauman is many things: Writer, filmmaker, Italian horror aficionado, IPA enthusiast. He takes pleasure in crafting things with his bare hands; in elevating simple elements into something far greater than the sum of their parts. He made a solid camera rig with an old 2x4, a dozen terrifying monsters out of a gallon of old liquid latex; he even made Mike Stoklasa into an internet sex symbol! Well, that last one was mostly Mike’s doing. Still, Jay knows **he** is not a man to run from a challenge. 

As he gazes into the harsh light of the cold abyss, a frosty fog pours down on to Jay’s kitchen floor. He comes face to face with his greatest challenge yet: Dinner. Date night dinner. 

Jay’s hands drop to his sides and he stares apprehensively into the fridge. 

“There’s not many ways this can go right," Jay says with a sigh as he runs a hand through his golden beard. He reaches forward and delicately inches the large bowl of meat and marinade off of the glass refrigerator shelf. Sure enough, as soon as the bowl leaves the ledge, the spicy mixture sloshes out and dribbles across his (formally) spotless white socks. 

“Fuck!” His rapid-fire cursing intensifies as he tries to quickly manuver the cursed bowl to the sink: “Fuck! Fuck! Fuckity fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck!” The bowl klanks loudly against Jay's countertop, but he manages to keep _ most _of the reddish-brown liquid contained. He cleans off his sticky fingers with the Leatherface apron you got for him last Christmas; pleasantly surprised to see the new, deep red stains adding another level of realism to the printed blood on the fabric. 

Jay stops to center himself before diving head-long into dinner. He exhales loudly through his nose and peers out across his cluttered kitchen. Bowls of shredded cheese, diced tomatoes, sliced peppers, fresh-cut cilantro, corn salsa, jalapenos, flour tortillas, and fresh guacamole cover nearly every square inch of his countertops. He’s plagued by the thought that he’s missing something. But what? 

_ Probably should have just ordered delivery, _ Jay thinks to himself. _ Would she notice the difference? _

He thinks back to the first time he took you to BelAir Cantina in Oak Creek the week it opened. You sat on the patio and he watched the sun set behind you. Beams of pink sunlight poured through your hair as you chuckled at one of his dumb jokes. You lifted your glass and took a drink of your frosty margarita and he wondered if you had ever looked so beautiful. 

But then you smiled. A wide, joyful, heart-breakingly dazzling smile... aimed directly at the sizzling pan headed towards your table. Jay blurted out a laugh when you actually clapped as the waiter sat the steaming plate on your table. 

“Really, babe? For fajitas?” he laughed.

“Yes, really! Fajitas are the perfect meal and I haven’t had them in forever!” you answered defiantly. You motioned widely across the half-dozen plates and bowls full of delicious accouterments filling up the table. “Look how amazing this is! You should branch out more.”

Jay had to admit; the colorful meal laid out before you did seem slightly more appealing than his plain cheese enchiladas.

He looked back up at you then; your face full of excitement, teeth biting into your lower lip. 

He wasn’t sure how much of your happiness was because of him, or because of the food, or the sunset, or even the margarita. But he was determined to make you smile like that again. And as often as possible.

Jay blinks himself back to the present with a smirk. 

_ She’s worth it. _

He is resolute and he is focused, but he is still completely out of his depth. He claps his hands together loudly and surveys his domain.

"Let’s do this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I worked on this for a while before getting discouraged by a bunch of Reddit guys who felt a need to message me with awful things. I get that fanfic about real people isn't everyone's cup of tea, but my god are Reddit guys the absolute worst sometimes.
> 
> But then some you wonderful readers (here and via my Tumblr) sent me some amazing words of encouragement. Thank you all so very much! After crying some very happy tears, I got this chapter out as soon as I could. This work is for all of you; I hope you like it. Smut is on the way. 
> 
> To my requester : I hope you like those fajitas. :)
> 
> If you can, please take a moment to add a comment. They really keep me going.
> 
> Also, if you find yourself in the Milwaukee area and would like to get dinner at [BelAir Cantina](https://belaircantina.com/), they have a great patio.  
  



	2. Making the Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay continues to be adorable as he tries to make this date night special.

Jay runs a finger over the sticky screen of his iPhone. “Don’t let me down here, Food Network,” Jay pleads. A bead of sweat threatens to drip down his temple before he shrugs and wipes the side of his face against the sleeve of his _ Mystics in Bali _ T-shirt. He breathes a sigh of relief when the screen finally comes back to life and he scrolls down to find the next step in the recipe. 

Jay pulls the last bit of shrink-wrap and packaging off of his new cast-iron skillet and sets it on the stove. He shoves the plastic back into the pristine Target bag and makes sure he has the receipt. Just before the oil starts to smoke, he lays two steaks across the hot surface of his new pan. Hot marinade pops against the tender skin of his forearms but the meat smells so good he barely registers the pain. 

The persistent cowbell of Talking Heads’ _ And She Was _ blasts out of the Bluetooth speaker next to Jay’s microwave. He sings along loudly as he pours the remaining marinade out in the sink and rinses the large bowl clean.

_ And things were looking like a movie… _

_ She had a pleasant elevation… _

_ She's moving out in all directions… _

He two-steps over to the counter, gathering up all the trash and absent-mindedly biting on the bottom of his mustache. His head bops from left to right as his little dance propels him through rest of the kitchen. Regan meows in complaint and rubs her sleek feline coat against his ankle on her way out of the kitchen. Too much noise and dancing for her tastes, apparently. 

When the meat is sufficiently cooked, Jay moves the steaks onto a spare plate and checks the recipe on his phone for the 100th time. 

“Rest the meat.” He reads the words again, hoping they make more sense the second time around. 

_ The fuck? How the fuck does one _ ** _rest _ ** _ meat? _ He grunts in frustration. 

A quick Google search later and Jay now knows that resting the meat just means to cover it with foil and leave it alone. 

“Why didn’t they just fucking say **that **then?” he complains to himself. 

He resolves that next time he makes this, he’s slicing all of the sides up the day before. He wants everything to be perfect tonight, but he’s been in the kitchen for over an hour now and sweat is beginning to dribble down the back of his neck. He’s going to need a good shower before you get here. Jay’s bright green eyes dart over to check the time; thirty minutes until you’re home. That’s cutting it close. 

Jay’s playlist continues on through the Bluetooth speaker as he gathers up the sliced peppers and onions and tosses them into the hot pan. His body sways along with the Pixies’ _ Where is My Mind _as he throws a spare hand towel over his shoulder. 

"Okay…'Cook vegetable mixture until limp’,’’ Jay reads off the glass screen of his iPhone. “I think I did that.” He pokes the peppers and onions with his spatula, hoping to imbue some of his urgency upon the sizzling veggies in his pan. “Good enough.”

Jay removes the onions and peppers from the pan onto a spare dinner plate and takes a solid minute to arrange them exactly like the picture in the Food Network recipe. He carefully places all of the other sliced and diced fajita makings onto his brand-new serving platter and wraps the whole thing as best he can with cellophane. Thankfully, the platter fits JUST onto the refrigerator shelf. 

Jay can’t resist making blaster noises as he spritzes the countertops down with cleaner. “Pew Pew!” He keeps the warm rice and black beans simmering in pans on the stove top, hangs up his Leatherface apron, and heads quickly for the shower. 

“Limes! Shit! The fucking limes!” he shouts as he finally remembers what he forgot to do earlier. 

Jay runs back to the kitchen, throws open the vegetable drawer of the fridge and grabs the limes. He doesn’t even bother searching for the produce sticker before slicing through the first lime and directly into the nail of his index finger. 

And that’s the **precise** moment when Regan meows loudly to announce your arrival. 

“Oh for FUCK!” he groans. He checks the damage to his finger - No blood, thankfully. 

Jay hears you greet Regan in the front room. 

"Hey! I missed you too, demon! Wait... What did you do with the carpet?"

Jay throws the limes (sliced and unsliced) back into the produce bag, rips open the refrigerator door and tosses it all into the back of the fridge as you make your way down the hallway. He leans against the door and tries to look nonchalant. 

"It smells fucking amazing in here," you praise as you make your way to the kitchen. "What are you mak..." You stop mid sentence, noticing a very sweaty and nervous-looking Jay Bauman leaning against the fridge like an awkward, bearded James Dean. 

"Hey babe!" Jay blurts a little awkwardly. His golden eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. 

"I thought you were making dinner. It smells great," you say with an incredulous face. "Oh, wow!" you exclaim as you reach for the two simmering pans on the stove. Jay bolts in front of you and stands in front of the oven, blocking your path.

"Actually, I am! It's nothing. I mean, yes,” he starts. “I'm making dinner. I _ made _dinner. For date night. I thought I still had some more time, though," Jay laughs. 

“Ooooh! That’s great. I’m sure it will be fine, honey.” You look over to the dining room table, nearly empty with the exception of a lounging black cat. Two green candles that look like melting zombie heads sit in their usual place, unlit, on the table.

"Do you want me to make the table?" you offer. 

"No," Jay says with a small shake of his head. He tries to shake his nervousness and walks toward you with a sweet smile. The ends of his mustache begin to curl as he reaches up to cup your face before he gives you a proper welcome home kiss. He smells like sweat and Old Spice deodorant and something spicy you can’t quite place.

"I missed you so much," he declares earnestly. He rests his forehead against yours and breathes for the first time in three days. His thumbs roll across your cheeks. "Everything is already set." Jay's smile is so sincere you can't help but return the gesture. 

"I missed you, too. I'll never leave town for one of my cousin's shotgun weddings ever again," you promise. "Or, I'll force you to come with me next time," you laugh. "Maybe get you on the dance floor for the Cupid Shuffle." 

"I'd rather watch _ Gili_, and then _ again _ with Jennifer Lopez’s commentary track, than go to your shitty cousin's shitty wedding, babe," Jay snickers. He kisses you softly on the lips. "But sure, I'll go to all of them from now on out of that means I don't have to go another weekend without you." 

"What about attending my other cousin's parole hearing versus watching _ Maid in Manhattan_?" you inquire with a raised eyebrow. 

"Whatever J-Lo movie you need," Jay smiles. You smack him playfully on the chest. "I mean… _ whatever _you need." Jay’s arms wrap around your shoulders and he pulls you into a tight hug. You rest your forehead in the crook of his neck and savor the sensation of his beard tickling the top your ear. You can feel his heart beating out of his chest. 

Jay takes a deep breath and pulls away. "It's dinner time," he declares with surprising urgency. “And it’s a beautiful night.” He wraps his fingers around yours and starts to lead to to the back door. 

“But my bags are still in the livin….”

“Fuck your bags, babe!” he interrupts. He continues on when you make a snarky face at him. “Okay. Sorry… I mean, ‘The bags aren’t going anywhere.’” Jay declares as he opens the door to the backyard and walks you out onto the patio. A bright beam of sunlight hits your eyes and makes you squint before you take a step onto the deck. 

You try to protest: “Yeah, but I actually got you someth….” 

Your words fall away when you turn from the sunset and take in the sight of Jay’s yard. Long, twinkling strands of white Christmas lights are laced back and forth between the edge of the deck and the two old oak trees along the back fence. The lights illuminate every inch of the perfectly manicured lawn in a warm glow, and wrap along the top of a large, white screen on the far right hand side of the yard. Two potted topiaries frame the screen; each with deep green leaves and a smattering of blooming white flowers. You don’t notice as Jay leaves your side and heads back into the kitchen. 

You step down the stairs of the deck and see that Jay has laid out the black and white chevron carpet from the living room out on the grass in front of the white screen. His small movie projector is perched atop one of Jay’s basement barstools; connected to his MacBook by a long white cord. The projector is on, but nothing is displayed yet. 

A low table sits in the center of the carpet, with two overstuffed black pillows arranged to make chairs. Rolls of fluffy blankets are stacked at the edge of the carpet. You look to see that the table _ has _already been set; Jay’s usual mismatched dishes and silverware wait expectantly for you as your vision starts to blur. 

“Babe?” comes Jay’s voice from behind you. 

You turn to him in a daze; mouth still open embarrassingly wide. 

Jay stands behind you; clearly pleased with your reaction to all of his hard work. He holds two ice-filled pint glasses in his left hand and glass pitcher full of lime green margarita in his right. 

“I’ve always wanted to take you to a drive-in theater for a date,” he explains with a crooked smile. “But every place near Milwaukee only shows family movies. Plus, the food sucks and you can’t even get out of your car to watch the movie on your roof.” He sets the margarita pitcher down on the short table and fills the two Bar Louie pint glasses to the brim. “So I thought I could do something like that for you here. But better, hopefully.” He offers you one of the glasses and you take it with a nervous hand. “With a movie you actually like.”

You clink your glass to his in cheers and take a shallow sip of the delicious concoction. The water gathering in your eyes threatens to spill down your cheeks, but you keep it together. Mostly. 

“So this is my date night:” Jay throws out both arms in a grandiose gesture like a bumbling circus ringmaster. “_Moonlight _ by moonlight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Bar Louie](https://www.barlouie.com/locations/us/wi/milwaukee/water-street/) is a fun little pub that the Red Letter Media guys used to frequent. I'm not sure if they still go there, but I like to throw in references to real-life RLM locations when I can. Also, I did check out the drive-in theaters near Milwaukee and they all suck just like Jay says.
> 
> My requester asked for a fic:  
1-in Jay’s POV  
2-where the reader comes home from being away  
3-with sweetness  
4-including Jay’s inner monologue about his romantic feels 
> 
> They also loved fajitas and _Moonlight._ So I hope they like the story so far. 😉
> 
> Smut on the way, dear readers!


	3. Simmer on Low Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last appetizer before the meal.

You’ve mostly kept it together. But seeing Jay’s open arms and toothy, expectant smile is just too much. You manage to swallow your small sip of the perfectly-crafted margarita before two fat tears pour down your cheeks. Your face scrunches up into full ugly-cry mode. 

Jay is clearly at a loss. His hands are still pointing towards the backyard scene he worked so hard to create, but he has no idea what to do next. He was expecting happy. Maybe surprised. Not crying. 

“Uhhh…” Jay starts as his arms slowly fall to his sides. His shoulders sag and he bites into his bottom lip nervously. “Is it the movie? I can put on the _ Alvin and the Chipmunks Squeakquel _ if you’d rather watch that,” he offers with an anxious smile. 

“It’s not that!” you blurt out as you wipe the tears away from your eyes with the back of your hand. “This is the…. most… ****sniffle** ** beautiful… ****sniffle**** amazing… ****sniffle**** thing I’ve ever seen,” you manage to say before the worst of the bawling starts. You cover both of your eyes with the palms of your hands in an effort to stop the crying at the source. 

Jay’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “Oh! Wait. So you’re actually _ happy _right now? Right?”

“Yes, you jackass!” Two tears fall off of your chin and splatter on to your gray tunic shirt.

Jay’s mouth puckers as he tries not to smile. His green eyes wrinkle at the corners while his snickering laughter sputters through his lips. 

“It’s not funny!” you chastise him before sniffling again.

His head falls back just before his raucous laughter fills the yard. He tries to cover his mouth with his margarita hand and spills a good portion of it down the front of his shirt. 

“Oh, shit!” Jay shouts as he tries to save the rest of his drink.

“You deserved that!” you chuckle through your tears.

“Worth it! Totally worth it!” he quickly replies. He’s grinning ear to ear and doing his best to brush off the largest pieces of ice from his shirt. You set your drinks down on the table and grab one of the paper napkins from under the nearest place setting. You move closer to him; holding the napkin against his chest to soak up the spill. His warm laughter reverberates under your hand. Jay’s arms curl around your waist as he pulls you in; forgotten tears cooling on your cheeks.

“This is amazing. I’m in awe right now.” You nuzzle into the crook of his neck, leaving your open palm at the front of his shirt; His scratchy beard tickles your cheek as you make your way up his sharp jaw line. You plant a kiss on the patch of smooth skin just under his ear. 

Jay’s arms coil around your back as he inhales deeply. You sway together for a moment before he speaks up. “You haven’t even seen the best part, babe.”

“Reeeaally? Are you going to take your shirt off? Maybe do some pushups for me? Cause I can’t imagine anything better than that.”

Jay chortles. “I AM going to change my shirt actually. But you’ll have to wait on the pushups.” He pulls away just enough to look into your eyes. His thumb gently wipes away the last tear still clinging to your face.

“How about we get some dinner in you?” he offers. Jay leans forward and presses a tender kiss to your lips. You ball up the napkin in your hand and run your fingers down Jay’s chest to his belt buckle. 

“I say let’s start with dinner...” you tease as you palm his cock through his pants, “...and we’ll see where we end up.” You wrap your free hand around his neck and coax his plump bottom lip between your teeth. 

“I made fajitas,” Jay declares with a raised eyebrow.

You take a step back and gaze at him; all-consuming hunger burning in your eyes. 

“Those are, without a doubt, the three sexiest words you have ever said to me.”

“**_Really_**?” he laughs. Jay grabs the front of your tunic top near your belly button and pulls you close. “Those are the three sexiest words? Not ‘_I love you_’?” His mouth finds your neck before his tongue glides across your pulse point. 

“Nuh-uh,” you answer casually as you can. Your head rolls back to allow him better access. 

“What about: _‘God, you’re beautiful _’?” Jay inquires as his mustache runs across the pink skin of your throat.

“Those sure are three nice words there, but no,” you giggle softly. 

“How about: _‘As you wish_’?” he whispers into your ear with a smile. You shiver at the mental image of Jay dressed up like Carey Elwes in _ The Princess Brid__e_. A flood of warmth rushes to your center and threatens to knock you over. 

“Nope, not even remotely sexy,” you lie. 

“Not even: _‘I want you _’?” he growls. Jay’s teeth sink into your neck as his hardening cock presses into your leg.

“Keep dreaming, Bauman,” you reply with a moan. You try to stay resolute, but your knees want to give out. You cling to his shoulders. 

“Well then how about you get on the rug and I’ll make you cum till you see stars?” Jay offers. Your head tilts sharply before you move away and make a snarky face at him.

“That’s like ** _fifteen _ **words, honey.”

“No, I’m not… goddamn it…” Jay rolls his eyes. His shoulders shake as he tries to keep his laughter back. He motions down to the rug on the ground below you both. “I mean literally: **Lay down *here* right now**. You weirdo.” 

“Oh,” you peep. “Wait! In the yard?” Your eyes dart around to see if you can catch a glimpse of the neighbors. “Couldn't someone see us?” 

Jay’s hand reaches down to cup you at the apex of your thighs. The pads of his fingertips press enticingly against your cunt through your black leggings. 

“I don’t think they can see us, but I also don’t really care,” he admits with a brazen smile. 

The idea of being caught is pretty tempting, but you’re not quite sold on the idea. 

“I don’t know…” you admit. “Well, I think so. Yes. Uh... Maybe.” You bite your lip in consideration. “Yes. But only if we use a blanket or something,” you agree with nervous excitement. 

Jay takes two steps back bows deeply at the waist. His hand stretches out before you, beckoning toward where he wants you to lie on the rug. His eyes twinkle mischievously as he looks up to you through his eyelashes.

“**_As you wish_ **.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought for sure that I would get to the smut in this one, but then my girly feels got the better of me. I assure you, the smut will be in Chapter 4, and it's coming very soon!
> 
> Also, I'm working on another story that I think you'll all like. I'm super excited for it, but I'll do my best to wrap this reader request up nicely before starting that story in earnest. 
> 
> Feel free to stop by my [Tumblr](https://redlettermistress.tumblr.com/) and drop me a line.


	4. Seeing Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's see if Jay can make good on his offer.

“Oh, you clever boy,” you laugh. Jay stands back up straight with a wicked smile. “I’m going to have to buy you a Dread Pirate Roberts costume now. You know that, right?” 

“I think I can live with that,” Jay states proudly as he helps you to sit on the black and white chevron carpet. 

You scoot back to rest against one of the plump pillows. Jay grabs one of the fluffy blankets rolled up near your feet and unfurls it over your legs. The last beams of red and orange light pouring in to Jay’s yard are clipped as the sun sets below the fence line to the west. 

Jay settles down on the carpet along your right side and and uses his fingers to tip-toe his hand across the tops of your thighs. He leans in to kiss your lips as his fingers grip your left hip and he pulls you closer. You roll towards him, wrapping your left hand around his arm to feel his bicep flexing around you. 

“You really are gorgeous,” Jay breathes out with devotion. He reaches up and he tucks an errant hair behind your ear. 

“Are you just trying to get in my pants?” you purr at him. 

“I thought that was pretty fucking obvious,” Jay shoots back. His two front teeth cut into his lip in a huge smile. “But these are barely pants,” he declares as his right hand ghosts down the front of your body. His skilled fingers make quick work of pulling up your shirt and down the front of your leggings. “These would never keep me out.”

Jay dips his hand down past your underwear and parts your folds gently. "Did you miss me?" he whispers against your cheek. 

"Well I'm not entirely su.." your words cut out as Jay slips his first two fingers into your cunt. "Yeeeeaaoooh my god, yes." His calloused thumb circles your clit as he delves deeper inside. "Yes. I missed you," you reply with a shiver.

"That's all I wanted to hear," Jay praises. His lips find yours as he begins to pump his fingers into you. 

"You're already wet," Jay says with a playful smile. "Were you thinking about me the whole way home?" His first two fingers move up to caress your clit intently. Your back arches up off of the ground before you can muster a response. 

"Holy fuck! God, yes. Of course," you mutter before reaching up to wrap your hands around Jay's neck and pull him closer. You taste his hot breath as he pours all of his devious intentions into his kiss. You mewl into his mouth as he quickens his delightful rhythm on your clit. 

"Did you take care of yourself at all while you were away?" Jay asks between kisses. 

"Oh sure," you start with a laugh. "In the rental car right after the rehearsal but before the groom's dinner." 

Jay stops moving his hand and gives you a look of shock. One side of his mustache curls up in confusion. "Seriously?!"

"No, you nerd!" You wrap your hand around his neck and run your thumb across the edge of his beard. "It was just a few days; I can hold out for a few days," you tease. "And I like the way you do it much better, anyways." Your hips grind against his hand enticingly. 

You can almost see Jay's ego inflate to twice its size. His chest puffs out as one eyebrow shoots up to his golden hairline. 

_"Really_ now?" His right hand begins to move inside your very wet pussy. Your breath hitches as he finds your clit again. His kisses trail down your jawline before his teeth sink into your neck. He sucks deeply as two long fingers delve into you. Jay growls against your flesh, clearly determined to demonstrate his talents.

"Fuck, that feels good," you pant. Your left hand runs down to grip Jay’s solid shoulder. 

He plays with your body like a cat toying with its prey. Blood rushes to his swelling cock as he takes in the sight of your hips rolling against his hand. He strokes you with a perfect rhythm, savoring the sound of your little gasps and cries when he captures your clit between his fingers. 

Your breath stills as your back arches off the ground. The nails on your left hand dig sharply into his shoulder. Only strangled cries escape your open mouth as you near your peak. Jay moves his fingers away from your clit immediately and you growl in frustration. Your body collapses back down to the carpet and you beg him to keep going. 

“I was so close!” you pout.

“I know,” Jay replies with a smug smile. “I was there.”

You try to make a mental note to murder him later, but the thought vanishes as he plunges his fingers deep into your sopping wet cunt. Your thighs clamp down around his hand; desperate for more friction. 

“You’re so fucking sexy before you cum,” he declares. His green eyes bore into yours. “Just this sweet fucking agony right before you break.” A single finger glides across your clit as he continues his thought; electricity bolts through your body at the touch. “Can you give me just a little more?”

You let go of Jay’s shoulder and lay back fully on the black and white carpet, gripping the soft blanket near your hip. You look to Jay and nod quickly. “I love/hate you so much right now," you grumble.

"I know," Jay laughs confidently. He kisses your temple once before his thumb grinds sumptuously against your sensitive bud. You groan obscenely and ball the fabric of the blanket with your fists. The slick of your pussy covers his hand and seeps into the fabric of your leggings. 

Jay stars back to his work. He repeats the teasing process twice more; winding the coil inside you tighter and tighter until tears start to form at the corners of your eyes. When your legs open wider under the blanket to allow him better access he slips a third digit into you. 

Your eyes shoot back up to his as you feel the exquisite stretch. Your hips buck against his hand as an invitation. Jay seems to get the message; immediately removing his hand and kneeling beside you. He rips the blanket away from your legs and glares at your leggings.

"Take those fucking things off.”

You do your best to pull them down quickly, a _ little _ terrified and _ a lot _ aroused by the welcome appearance of a dominant Jay. Fuck the blanket, fuck the neighbors, nothing else matters right now besides getting your fucking pants off. 

As soon as you yank the second leg away, Jay stands up straight next to you. All of your attention drifts toward his belt; his erection is clearly straining against his shorts and the mental image forming in your mind makes your mouth water. You bite into your bottom lip and look up at him through your eyelashes. 

"Get on the table," Jay demands. 

You pause for a moment. 

"Wha… What do you mea…" 

Jay bends down and swipes his arm across the surface of the short black table; scattering the napkins, silverware, and your mostly-full margarita across the lawn. 

"Get on the fucking table” he growls.

Your eyes go wide before you pick yourself up as fast as you can. You sprint to the table and take a seat edge closest to Jay. Looking down, you curse yourself for forgetting to also take off of your very wet panties. He reaches down and quickly runs his rough hand from your calf to the top of your thigh. 

"How much do you like these?" Jay asks as he hurriedly threads his fingers through the waist of your panties near your left hip.

"I’ve never liked them.”

Jay smirks before he uses both hands to rip through the skant fabric. He swiftly pulls the shredded remains of your underwear down to one ankle and falls to his knees between your legs. 

Jay's mouth is on you in a flash; his pink tongue delving between your folds. He drinks in the flood of your slick; lapping fiercely at your entrance. 

Your arms give out and you fall back on the table. Your head falls over the far edge; arms desperately searching for something to hold. Your left hand finally reaches the edge of the table as your right hand finds the back of Jay's head. 

"Oh my God! Fuck!" you scream. 

Jay moves to lap at your clit while three of his fingers pump inside your cunt. 

"Oh, fuck fuck FUCK!" you tell loud enough to wake the dead. Jay's hand grips your right thigh as he fucks you with his tongue. "Holy fucking shit!" you scream.

Jay's teeth nibble delicately at your clit as he buries his strong fingers knuckle deep into your pussy. The slick of your cunt coats his hand and drips down to the table beneath you. You want to hold out, but Jay's rhythm is just too perfect. 

Your left hand grips the edge of the table as your right forces Jay's head deeper into your wet cunt. Your back peels up and away from the table as your body tenses. You crane your head up to get a glimpse of his face between your legs. Jay’s nose is perched on top your mound and his huffing, hot breath billows through the patch of hair there. His mouth keeps up his relentless pace; flicking his tongue across your clit as he sucks eagerly. His green eyes are nearly black as they bore into yours. 

"Baby.. Honey… Oh, fuck… I'm think.. I'm going to cum!" you scream. Jay grabs both of your legs by the hip and sucks even harder at your painfully swollen clit. 

"Jay! Oh God! Please don't fucking stop!" you plead. The wood of the table creaks under your vice grip on the edges of the table. Your back arches harshly as your head drapes over the far side. 

Your vision fades to black as he curls his fingers inside of you, up towards your belly button. Tears begin to drip off of your eyelashes. You roll your hips against his face and feel his teeth graze your clit. 

Jay pulls his face away from your wet cunt and continues his attention on your G-spot. He watches your heaving chest appreciatively, but he can't see your face. 

"Look at me," he instructs. His left hand moves to your pussy, moving in tight circles across your clit as his other fingers pump inside you. 

You sit up as best you can; cheeks red with exertion and you're panting loudly. Your hair is a mess; sweat dribbles down your chest. 

"So beautiful right before you cum," Jay says with adoration. His eyes don't leave yours as your vision flashes over white. The tension across your body shatters and you throw your head back to the sky before screaming loud. 

Jay's right hand stills inside you as your cunt flutters around his fingers. He flashes you a cocky smile and leans back down to lick your very tender clit. 

The feeling is like an electric shock and your body jumps away. Jay's strong left arm wraps around your thigh, pining you in place as he continues to nurse at your bud. Explosions of bright, twinkling lights fire across your vision as Jay draws out your orgasm. 

The canopy of Jay's old oak tree starts to come into focus as you catch your breath. Jay pulls away gently and stands over you smiling; cleaning your slick off of his beard with his shirt sleeve. 

Scattered lights still flash in your eyes, but you begin to realize they're just the strings of white lights and the bright stars above kaleidoscoping through your tears. 

… 

But they're _dancing_. 

… 

You blink to clear the tears away, but the image is the same. 

"Why are the stars dancing?" you wonder aloud. Your legs are still splayed wide; Jay's spit and your slick cooling rapidly on your thighs.

Jay laughs hard, covering his mouth with his hands. His shoulders shake as he tries to stifle his giggling. 

"Did you actually cum that hard?" he asks with a self-satisfied smirk. "I was just kidding about the 'making you see stars' thing earli…" Jay looks up at the trees and finally takes in the sight: hundreds of beautiful, glimmering lights filling the Wisconsin night sky, and dozens of them are simply… _ dancing._

"Oh wow! Shit! Those are fireflies!" he exclaims with wonder. He reaches down and grabs your hands to help you up. Your brain sloshes around as you try to get your bearings again.

The fireflies fill Jay’s yard, flashing with a brilliant golden glow as they dart through the leafy green hostas along the fence. You smooth your sweaty hair back away from your temples and feel the cool air against your skin.

“So fucking beautiful,” Jay says, completely awestruck. 

“It really is,” you reply dreamily. You look back to find Jay peering directly at you. A wide, goofy smile etched across his face. You step out of the shreds of your underwear on the carpet. Jay kisses you gently and you taste yourself on his lips. 

“I have a confession to make,” he whispers.

“What’s that?”

“I was talking about you just then - the part about being beau...” You cut him off with a kiss. 

“I know,” you smile. You move in closer to him, feeling the front of his body against yours. Jay’s very rigid cock presses into your hip. 

“Oh god! I’m so sorry!” you chirp as your hands move to Jay’s belt. “I didn’t even think about returning the… I just got caught up in everything!” 

Jay’s hands reach calmly down to yours and holds them still. 

“Babe, it’s fine,” Jay laughs. “There’s plenty of time for that later.” Your eyebrows furrow with a pout. “I’ve been in the kitchen all day and I’m drenched in sweat. I’m sure I taste like a John Waters film right now,” he explains. He places a chaste kiss to your cheek. “Let’s just have dinner and a movie tonight.”

You purse your lips in consideration. 

“Would you let me suck your cock after you take a shower?” you inquire innocently. 

“Oh… " Jay considers. "Well… yes. That would be okay." 

“So it’s dinner, a movie, and _ dessert_?”

Jay’s head tilts quizzically. 

You move away from his face to give him an incredulous look.

“Jay - I was talking about your cock just then - the part about your cock being dessert.” Jay’s eyebrows shoot up in realization.

“OOOHHHH! Right! I got it. I knew that!” he tries to shrug nonchalantly, but he’s convincing no one. “I knew that the whole time.” His arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you close and resting his temple against yours. 

“I hope you’re a better cook than you are a liar,” you chide softly. 

“I hope so, too.”

You breathe deeply in his arms, appreciating the scent of his deodorant, sweat, and sex as it radiates from his body. Jay rocks you both slowly, swaying side to side in time with music you can’t hear, but you love anyway. The fireflies dance along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's all she wrote, folks. I really liked writing this and I hope you enjoyed. To my requester: I especially hope this included all of the "passion," "smut," "sweetness" and "romance" you were looking for. :) 
> 
> Also... do you get the title now? You thought it referred to the meal, but it was really about you, dear reader. _YOU'RE_ the damn fine dinner! ;)
> 
> I thought this was going to be a one-shot. It swelled up on me quite a bit, but in a good way - in the same way I'd like Jay to swell up on me. I might add another chapter at some point (I mean, who wouldn't want steamy shower sex with that delectable nerd) but I'm done with the story for now. 
> 
> Please reach out to me here or on my [tumblr](https://redlettermistress.tumblr.com/). I really love hearing from you all!


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